Funny Baseball Quotes
A baseball game is simply a nervous
breakdown divided into nine innings.
When they start the game, they don’t
yell, “Work ball.” They say, “Play ball.”
Willie Stargell, 1981
When we played softball, I’d steal
second base, feel guilty and go back.
A baseball park is the one place where
a man’s wife doesn’t mind his getting
excited over somebody else’s curves.
There have been only two geniuses in
the world. Willie Mays and Willie
Baseball is very big with my people.
It figures. It’s the only way we can
get to shake a bat at a white man
without starting a riot.
What does a mama bear on the pill have
in common with the World Series? No cubs.
Confucius say: Baseball wrong – man with
four balls cannot walk.
With the money I’m making, I should be
playing two positions.
Pete Rose, 1977
Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is
listed as day-to-day. Aren’t we all?
Cricket is baseball on valium.
Finish last in your league and they
call you Idiot. Finish last in medical
school and they call you Doctor.
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.
I managed a team that was so bad we considered
a 2-0 count on the batter a rally.
Rich Donnelly, minor league manager
Let no one accuse baseball of not being
tough on drugs. During his baseball career,
Steve Howe was given 7 lifetime suspensions.
Bill Ferraro, baseball fan.
I could never play in New York. The first
time I came into a game there, I got into
the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.
Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles
On his own scouting report: “Very deceptive.
Slower than he looks.
A lot of things run through your head when
you’re going in to relieve in a tight spot.
One of them was, ‘Should I spike myself ?
Three more saves and he ties John
Hank Greenwald, on Bruce Sutter